


Never Be The Same

by seasaltmemories



Category: Princess Tutu
Genre: F/M, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 07:39:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5120381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasaltmemories/pseuds/seasaltmemories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collections of oneshots for Fakiru Week 2015, 2016, and 2017</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Violets

She leaves violets everyday on his doorstep.

At first Fakir was confused if this was intentional, but no, Ahiru did it every morning, when she thought he was still sleeping. And everyday it was violets. He made sure to check what exact type it was, and that she wasn't just picking random purple flowers. Thought that brought up the question where she got them. Did violets even grow in Gold Crown Town? He never was very observant, but he can't remember seeing them ever.

Regardless, she leaves him violets everyday, and it confuses him to say the least.

He could do the reasonable thing and ask her, Charon has already accepted the fact his son sometimes holds conversations with a duck, but that idea doesn't sit right with him. For some reason, Ahiru has chosen to be subtle about the entire matter, an abnormality for her. Besides while they communicated to each other easily, he wondered how she could even format a response for such an odd question.

So he does what he does best and hits the books. He pours through books deciphering the hidden meanings of a single petal and how the arrangement can cause the entire sentiment to do a 180. Under the section about violets he finds several different meanings, that only make him sigh more as he runs a hand through his hair, determined to understand her message.

He can't help but blush when he reads the first entry. In the past women used them to show love for a fellow lady. Could she be expected him to deliver them to a female friend she had left behind at the Academy?

But then he realizes how stupid the idea is and has to keep from verbally chastising himself. The school views her as a pet and let her run around campus doing whatever she wants. If she wanted to confess her love to a former schoolmate, she didn't need to include him into the scheme.

The next meaning was modesty which made no sense. He couldn't think how it could apply to either of them, especially considering the number of times he had come close to seeing her naked in her human form. Could it be a jab at his insecurity about his writing? It is a good thing he isn't arrogant about his powers like his ancestor was, but he wish he could stay humble without hating everything he wrote.

But when he reaches the third entry, everything clicks.

A violet can also symbolize faithfulness, loyalty,  _I'll always be true._ She was thanking him for keeping the promise he made in the Lake of Despair.

He makes sure to remind himself tomorrow morning to tell her he should be thanking her instead.


	2. Accident

The best choice Fakir has made in his life was deciding not to die for Mytho. He knew that and would thank God, or the universe, or whatever it was that convinced him to fight fate. Still to say things were easy after that would be lying.

He had been at best a lost boy stumbling around in the dark. And then his beautiful best friend was suddenly cruel and unkind, and then suddenly he was Drosselmeyer's descendant? He had story spinning powers as well? To say all that information had overwhelmed him would be an understatement. It wasn't til long afterward, when those days were only special memories, could he objectively analyze them.

He wasn't supposed to have been able to help Ahiru, Mytho and the others defeat the Raven. He wasn't even supposed to have learned of his heritage. Rue wasn't supposed to have saved Mytho, the boy she had first turned into a monster, and Ahiru wasn't supposed to have escaped the Lake of Despair. He wasn't supposed to have been able to help motivate and support her by promising to stay by her side.

In fact it went back further then that. He wasn't supposed to team up with her in the first place. He was supposed to remain a bitter boy filled with hate and rage. He wasn't supposed to grow up wielding a pen instead of a sword, with ink constantly staining his fingertips and stories constantly dancing around in his head.

And it all because of a bright, energetic girl who was "just a duck," but managed to turn Drosselmeyer's carefully crafted tragedy upside down.

A duck he was never supposed to fall in love and eventually walk down the aisle with.

Well his life may be one big accident, but he wouldn't change a thing about it if it meant he wouldn't be the person he was today.

 


	3. Slow

Ahiru moved through life without ever hesitating. It was her nature to rush through everything, trying to experience everything to the fullest. She had missed so much being a duck, she couldn't ever slow down if she wanted to catch up to everyone else. She always hoped that one day her running around would pay off and she'd finally be as human as everyone else.

She fell in love with Mytho like that, diving headfirst, knowing right away. Love to her was the same way she lived life, pounding emotions and racing heartbeats. She accepted her role as Princess Tutu at the same breakneck speed. She didn't and just couldn't understand that this behavior Drosselmeyer expected of her wasn't normal.

That's why her experiences with Fakir were so strange and foreign to her. Once the Raven was defeated, there was nothing urgent for her to do. She could simply enjoy being the duck she was and spending time with the enemy that had grown to be her best friend.

And it was a long process of self-examination and relaxation through which she came to terms with herself and her identity. It took millions of conversations with Fakir before they even decided to try to return her to her human form, and it took a million drafts before he finally wrote the right story. And even then it was over a long stretch of time, Ahiru got settled back into human life. Again she gave herself time to live and grow and just be normal, despite the fact she had to fight against her very nature. No one could understand her desire for the small details in life, like examining each and every flower, or trying to memorize the smell of chocolate cookies fresh out the oven. But she didn't need outward approval as much as she used to. In these actions she had found pieces of herself, and slowly she solved the puzzle that was her identity.

Along the way she re-explored the past and her relationships with all her friends. While she still loved Mytho very much, her happiness at seeing Rue and him together and smiling squashed any lingering jealousy. And Pique and Lillie still made her laugh whenever she was down, despite their antics. But then Fakir...when she had least expected it, she found she loved him.

As she reviewed their history, the growing partnership and friendship had later turned to to romantic affection, she realized she could not pinpoint a specific date, but that was not needed. She loved him at this moment, with his gentle hands and low voice, jokingly insulting her. It was the total opposite of how she had fallen for Mytho, but she found her feelings just as strong and real.

Then there was the agonizing waiting period trying to figure out if Fakir felt the same. He had started to be more open with people yes, but he still played his cards close to his chest when it came to private matters. It took subtle questions that flew over his head, and lingering touches that lasted too long, yet still it felt like not much progress was made. It was frustrating that all of Pique's and Lillie's tips about twirling her hair or licking her lips weren't working. Still she had learned to go slow steady, this couldn't be rushed.

Despite that, she finally gave in a few months later and planted on on him when he turned to ask her where the extra ink was. It was hard to say who was more surprised, but after much confusion, Fakir managed to admit he may have had a thing for her as well, ranging back to the Raven days. While it was odd and clumsy like the couple was, at the end of the day it was that natural course of their relationship. In the paus de deux of life, they had slowly increased their pace month by month, year by year.

It had taken her a long time to get here, but that made it all the sweeter in the end.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So at first I wanted to focus on how long it took their relationship to develop, but this started to shift more focus on Ahiru's character and her feelings about being human, which was pretty great


	4. Noise

Fakir tapped the quill on the piece of the paper, causing a dark blob of ink to pool at the bottom of the tip. He should probably wipe it up before he ends up accidentally getting some on his fingers again and as a result everything else, including himself, but he was too frustrated to care. Why wouldn't the scene work? He could picture it perfectly, but the words wouldn't come out.

He sat there for what felt like hours, as he kept tapping the quill, half-hoping it would break so there would be something to distract him from his empty head.

He must have dozed off at some point because when he heard Ahiru start to speak, green eyes shot open in surprise. He jerked up to see she had pecked a kiss on his forehead and seemed very startled by him awaking.

"Just taking a cat nap," He yawned as he leaned up to wipe an ink blot on her cheek. She laughed at that, and he couldn't help but smile.

"That didn't look like just a nap? It's late, you should get to bed."

"No," He groaned but it quickly turned into a yawn, and Ahiru gave him a pointed glare.

"See?" She started unbraiding her hair and then went on rambling about something Pique had said about sleeping and what not. As always Fakir nodded everyone once in a while to show he was listening. He never got every word, but he cared about what she had to say. At some point he picked up and the quill and started rolling it around in his hands, to give him something to do. And just as Ahiru was describing the new dance moves she had been working on, inspiration struck him.

"That's it!" His eyes lit up as he bent forward to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "You're a genius!" He went back to scribbling furiously, not noticing Ahiru's dazed stare.

"What did I do?"

"Just talk."

"About what?"

"About anything."

"You'll listen?"

"Of course," And so she went back to recounting Lillie's encounter with that kid Femio and other details that washed over him like a cool splash of water.

There we go.

Everything came together now.


	5. Festival

It was stupid, and Ahiru knew it, but she couldn't stop the nervous butterflies flapping against her stomach. She had gotten more confident than she had been when restoring Mytho's heart, but still doubts lingered and were ready to jump her at any chance. And it just so happened to catch her at the worst time. Fun.

"Quit squirming so much," Fakir sighed as ran a brush through her wild, red hair. "Do you want this to take any longer?"

"Sorry," She winced as he combed through a particular rough patch. "Just nervous."

"Why should you be? You could dance well as a duck, you'll probably be even better as a human now that you'll get proper footwear."

He always tried to take the logical route, a habit that could sometimes be annoying. He was so afraid of letting his emotions cloud his judgment like before, but sometimes this led to him being so disconnected from the problem. Ahiru wanted to bring up the issue later, but today was not the time. No, at the moment his logic might turn out to be handy.

"Still, I just really want to do well," She couldn't help but play with the folds of her dress. "The Fire Festival doesn't come every day."

At her words, he put down the brush and tapped her shoulder so she would look at him directly. "Hey is everything good?" Green eyes held nothing but concern. "You can tell me, but you need to be direct, I tend to miss hints."

"Ugh," Ahiru sighed, relieved to get it out. "I know this will sound stupid, but this is are first time dancing as a couple, and I really want to win that prize because you're awesome and deserve it, but even after all these years I'm still-"

"Hey," He cupped her face, causing Ahiru to forget what she had been rambling about. "Do you think I care about what others think about us?"

"No,"

"Well not exactly, I do," He ran a hand through his black ponytail. "I mean I'm sure they'll say 'oh look at that talent, remarkable dancer, and who is that tall oaf she brought along?'"

"If anyone wants to treat you'll badly, they'll have to go through me!" Blue eyes burned brightly.

"I feel the same," Fakir let a small smile slip out. "The point I'm trying to make is, if anyone is gonna look bad out there, it will be me, since I haven't danced in who knows how long. But so what if we don't win? Tonight should be fun."

"You're right, thanks a lot!" She leaned in to press a quick peck on his check.

"No problem, at all," Though he tried to hide it, a faint blush crept up his neck. "But let's save the kisses for later, I don't want to mess up your makeup."

"Whatever you say," She wrapped her arms around his neck as she nuzzled his face, and Fakir hummed contently as he held her body against him. "Still I hope cuddles will do."

"We need to keep watch of the time..." He started to trail off, "but cuddles are very fine."

"Good."


	6. Future

"Do you want any kids?" The question takes Ahiru but surprise and she looks away from her reflection to shoot Fakir a weird look.

"What made you ask that?"

"Eh, these last few years, I've finally branched out from starving artist to slightly-successful writer. With the money I'm making now and your ballet classes, a kid isn't out of the question." He doesn't look up from his writing, face calm and composed as usual.

"I've never really thought about that," She looks back at her reflection, noticing the ways she grown from the insecure ballet student she once was. "Do you even think we could have kids because you know..." She gestured to herself vaguely, "that duck thing."

"Adoption is always an option," He leans back in his chair as he balances his quill on the bridge of his nose. "If you're not interested then you can just say so-"

"No!" She squawks in reply. "I mean I'm just not sure," Ahiru gives a sheepish shrug. While she does have a soft spot for kids, the idea of being a mother is scary. They're a whole lot more responsibility than the birds she feed everyday.

"You know what things are really good the way they are now," He stares at her like she is a mirage that could disappear any second. "I don't want to mess things up."

"Ugh," She sighs before rushing over to join him at his side. "Don't be an idiot, you are great and we couldn't have saved Mytho without you, so stop being all-" She tries to find the right word as her arms gesture like they're possessed. "Weird and stuff."

He bursts into a belly laugh and at first she is embarrassed, but then his hand scratching behind her ear kills the anxiety. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Alright," She gazes at their small room, filled to the brim and bursting with memories. " You're right. Things are pretty good the way they are no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very similar to the last prompt but what can I say? I'm a sucker for domestic Fakiru


	7. Partners

They dance together for the first time in years, movements clunky and awkward. Years of training has been dulled over the sands of time, but the movements are still familiar. She steps on his feet and he bumps his head against her, but they're able to laugh it off and keep going.

Slowly but surely they pick up their pace, moving faster and faster. They ignored the CD all together, following the melody that sings out with every touch. The beat of their synchronized hearts is their guide and the outside world is forgotten. All there is in their world is her bright smile and his blazing green eyes.

But then she trips and ends up landing headfirst into his chest. Instinctively he wraps his arms around her to protect her from anything that might try to lay a finger on her. Her grip on the fabric of his leotard is vice-like, for both still remember the Raven days.

But the the other students laugh gently at their antics, and both members of the duo break out of their trance and blush sheepishly.

"Did I do good?" She asks with that singsong lithe to her voice that he adores.

"You were amazing," His smile is faint and nothing but the slight curve of the lips yet just as warm as the sun. "Welcome back, Ahiru."

If this was just her first day as human again, she can't wait to see what else is in store.


	8. Books

It happens over a lifespan without him even realizing it. Fakir is not one for sloppy writing, but it happens anyway. Not too obvious for most to pick up but Fakir can pick apart everything once he looks back with a sharp eye.

There’s bits of her hidden everywhere. In the margins, between the lines, she is anywhere and everywhere. Her essence overflows from the pages. Her bright, blue eyes can be found in his first book’s protagonist. Her insecurity lingers on the love interest of the second. Her smile shines only for the hero of the third.

And to his embarrassment, he finds parts of himself mixed with hers. The sidekick of his first book tries and fails at being a protector. The protagonist of the second finds himself promising to be with the love interest forever. The hero of the third softens and learns to smile back because of her.

No one but him could trace the path they both traveled through his stories. Still he found it affecting him all the same. When Drosselmeyer’s story had first ended, he had worried the two of them would fade away forgotten by the rest of the world. But looking at this, he knew they might as well be immortal.

In a way, Ahiru would live forever.


	9. Illusion

They dance without music. A practice that he’s grown used to by now but is still noticeable every time. The entire world is silent minus his beating heart. Still he can almost forget that when he looks at her.

Millions of white roses are braided through Ahiru’s red hair, interwoven with impossible precision. She smiles brighter than any star in the sky, addicting and all-consuming. It would be so easy to forget everything but dancing with her, so easy to dance and dance until the magic ran out and they disappeared into a speck of light together. It would be so easy if it wasn’t for one thing.

As if on cue, a white rose falls from her hair, joining the other millions littered on the ground. Despite this neither comment on it. There’s no need to worry about what they already know. So they dance and they dance for as long as this memory will last.

It must be five roses later when Ahiru finally speaks though.

“I have to go now, Fakir,” Her voice is fragile now like the rest of her limbs, barely held together.

“One more rose, please.”

“Fakir,” She sighs and it speaks more words than she could in a year.

“I’m sorry,” The grip around her hand tightens nevertheless. He has battled with his selfishness for years, but the fight remains caught at a stalemate.

“It’s not that I don’t love you, but you _know_ the roses are running out. And I just can’t bear to think of not seeing the others before…” The rest of the sentence is caught up in the back of her throat, but Fakir could recite back what she would have said word for word.

“I know,” He finally lets go of her. Fakir has never thought of her as his to possess, yet that does not lessen the pain a bit.

“See you later,” She refuses to utter a single goodbye, “I have to go,” She takes off and slowly things revert back to the way they were before. His hair grays before his eyes and the roses fade away as if they were never there.

Still the roses linger in the back of his mind even as he tries to settle back into reality.

Their beauty is unparalleled, but he can’t help but dread the day she wilts and fades away just as they do.


	10. Parody

Both Fakir and Ahiru were more ballet people than theatre people, but they were never one to turn down supporting the arts.

However as they exited that particular play, Ahiru wondered if it would have been better to turn down those tickets Pique had gifted them.

“It was certainly…nostalgic?” She gave a confused shrug.

“I can’t believe memories of the Raven days would manifest in that way,” Fakir ran a hand through his hair. “And with such accuracy…”

Ahiru couldn’t help but quirk an eyebrow at that statement, “I mean yeah those events were right, but everything else was just so wrong. Mytho never wore a pair of pants, Rue was mean just to be mean and ‘stole’ him away from me, and then they made you out to be so…” She began to trail off as she realized how inappropriate what she had planned to say was.

“No need to mince words. I was a grade A jerk,” Fakir sighed. “If they had left that out I would be even more mad. Still I hate how they made it seem romantic when we fought,” His grip around her hand tightened. “The way I treated you wasn’t right, thinking you were an idiot.”

Ahiru felt her face heat up, “That was horrible, but to be honest I was surprised they tried to make you out to be so seductive,” Ahiru buried her head further into her scarf.

“Seductive?” Fakir now wore a blush of his own.

“Regardless of whether it was really attractive or not, that scene where Faqir pushed Ehiru against the wall was very suggestive.”

“See that’s what I’m talking about,” Fakir sighed again. “I had just locked Mytho up against his will. What could you get all lovey-dovey out of that?” There was really no answer to get from that, so the two of them just walked. Still Ahiru hated the way such a stupid thing was dredging up such bad memories.

“Hey,” She whispered, “It’s just a dumb story. All that matters is what really happened, and the truth is I fell in love with your kindness. You still have that inside of you too.”

“And I fell in love with your empathy. Nobody deserves to call you stupid when you understand people so well.”

A familiar warmth spread through her chest. They couldn’t be happier, so why worry about such a silly little thing?


	11. Silver

The first few days after the story ends, the boy was filled to the brim with unsaid questions. After living so long in a land of “once upon a time’s” it was hard to image what could follow a “the end.” How would their lives change? What would the boy do after he gave everyone their happy ending, and would his town be recognizable anymore?

The duck faced many questions of her own. Would she be satisfied with a life of being just a bird? Would her boy keep his promise? Would she even be able to uphold it on her end and stay by his side for more than a handful of years?

There were no easy answers to be found, but as the weeks passed they didn’t seem to mind that so much. Life continued on as it always did, and no matter the hardship, the two of them faced it together as they always did.

However a different kind of hardship faced the duo now. The duck curled up against her boy, who was now a man. His hair was silver, his eyesight was weak, and he could no longer hold a pen anymore without his hand shaking, but he stroked her feathers as he always did.

“We’ve had a good run, haven’t we Ahiru?”

The duck quacked softly, tears forming in her eyes. It made him nostalgic. He remembered in their early days when he had found it so strange a duck could cry, much less for him of all people.

“Now don’t waste our time together weeping. What do we have to grieve when we’ve lived such full lives?” He tried to look at his upcoming fate positively, but anxieties plagued him as well. The duck had lived much longer than she should have, and he assumed it was because of his magic. With him gone, it was likely she would leave with him.

It was then the duck pecked the side of his head, quacking irritably.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t say such things if I’m going to act like this.” He snuggled closer to the duck, drawing her to his chest. “If that’s the case why don’t we make sure to fulfill our promise to the end? I won’t leave your side.”

The duck quacked contently at that and closed her eyes. She felt more tired than she had ever been in her life.

The man felt the same, so he kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes as well.

The two of them fell asleep for the last time together.


	12. Motif

It happened in the strangest of moments. He was explaining to Uzura who Ahiru was when suddenly a set of words flitted across his eyes.

_I love you_

Just as quick as it arrived those words left. Fakir sat there for a good minute, just staring in shock at the revelation. He wondered if it was just a stray thought wandering where it shouldn't, but it started up again and again. Whenever she smiled at him with that gentle sweetness or grabbed his arm to tell him something, those words would tug his heartstrings to the tune of a hopeless song.

_I love you, I love you, I love you_

Every time that thought came to him, he tried to stamp it out with another.

_Now's not the time_

_She's in love with Mytho, not you_

_Like you deserve her love_

But the more he denied those feelings, the more they slipped through the cracks. Whenever he thought she wasn't looking, he'd smile softly to himself. It was a small secret thing he kept only to himself. It'd hardly last long, but his affection would flow from him uncontrollably.

_I love you, I love you, I love you_

He thought that would be enough, but when the time came and Ahiru was at her most vulnerable, those words kept straining against his lips, begging to be said to comfort her.

_Quiet, this isn't about you_

In the end, Tutu wasn't the only one unable to confess her love.

But as he took Ahiru's hand, he realized that maybe words weren't needed for them either.


End file.
